What future can she have with you?
Yes, my annual salary doesn’t reach one million.
I don’t have an expensive car and nothing good to offer.
But we are attracted to each other and we just want to be together. Isn’t that allowed?
I don’t have an expensive car but I have a motorcycle.
When I am riding with you, I can feel the warmth of your arms around me.
An eight year difference, we can make it up together.
You can keep wearing mini skirts for me and for you I can keep wearing suits and ties.
We can watch the foreign movies you love so much together.
And we can read the mangas I love together.
As long as we are together, everything is ok.
If you are tired and don’t have a car, I can carry you back home.
If you are not in a good mood, I can accompany you to the roof top to watch the stars.
A love not based on money doesn’t have to lack romance.
Being together simply for the sake of love, isn’t that possible?
Are you willing to encourage me?
If yes, I’ll work hard for our future.
Because you are my dream.
Can I ask you a question?
For women your age, are conditions more important than feelings?
If being in love only needed conditions, wouldn’t that be sad?
Can conditions make you content? Or can conditions make you happy?
When you become close to a person, that increasing heartbeat and being shy, do you have those? I do.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Thoughts
What is love? feelings? friendship? respect? family? kinship? what have you and a whole lot more. I used to think I know who they are. With time they seem to have left me one by one. I no longer know who they are.
Same happens to all the people around me. Slowly, bit by bit, they left me. What they left behind are distrust, disregard people's feelings, selfishness... etc. 'Ships' are also no longer important. Taking people for granted, with the mindset that even if they left for ages, disregard people's feelings, if they come back one day, we will still be there for them.
That's bullshit. The only thing that still have a place in my heart are my parents. They are the only people who truly care for you unconditionally. They are the ones who will be there for you even if you left without a word and come back after ages. They'll still treat you and love you the same.
Guess I no longer believe in people. All those who have been a part of my life, big or small, have etched this impression on me. When they need you they come to you. When they dont need you, you are left to rot, till they need you again.
When they are lonely, they seek your company. When they found someone who can keep them company, they ditched you, regardless of your feelings. Unless something big happen to you, then they would realise you still exist.
Why do some people wanna lie their way through life? If you like someone, go ahead, admit. If you dont, then say so. Why lie yet your actions proved otherwise. I hate such people. Drama.
What's left in this world? Career, $, house, lust, greed, dishonesty, unfaithfulness, lies, selfishness.
Yeah I am negative. Why? You made me so. Thank you.
Same happens to all the people around me. Slowly, bit by bit, they left me. What they left behind are distrust, disregard people's feelings, selfishness... etc. 'Ships' are also no longer important. Taking people for granted, with the mindset that even if they left for ages, disregard people's feelings, if they come back one day, we will still be there for them.
That's bullshit. The only thing that still have a place in my heart are my parents. They are the only people who truly care for you unconditionally. They are the ones who will be there for you even if you left without a word and come back after ages. They'll still treat you and love you the same.
Guess I no longer believe in people. All those who have been a part of my life, big or small, have etched this impression on me. When they need you they come to you. When they dont need you, you are left to rot, till they need you again.
When they are lonely, they seek your company. When they found someone who can keep them company, they ditched you, regardless of your feelings. Unless something big happen to you, then they would realise you still exist.
Why do some people wanna lie their way through life? If you like someone, go ahead, admit. If you dont, then say so. Why lie yet your actions proved otherwise. I hate such people. Drama.
What's left in this world? Career, $, house, lust, greed, dishonesty, unfaithfulness, lies, selfishness.
Yeah I am negative. Why? You made me so. Thank you.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Ahjumma Rozi Crazy Over Lee Jong Hyuk
I dont know why. He is not damn good looking. But I really really like him. I posted him singing at his fan club meeting on 15 June 2008.
Shucks... I really couldnt take my eyes off him. He looks aloof in his character Yoo Kwan-Pil. In actual fact, he is such a humourous person. His smile is captivating. Eyes forming one line. Thick eye brow like la pi xiao xin.
Born 31/7/1974. Married with a son.
awwwww.... Ahjumma is in love with Lee Jong Hyuk. Cant stop listening to him singing. His voice his voice...
Na Sarang'e
Shucks... I really couldnt take my eyes off him. He looks aloof in his character Yoo Kwan-Pil. In actual fact, he is such a humourous person. His smile is captivating. Eyes forming one line. Thick eye brow like la pi xiao xin.
Born 31/7/1974. Married with a son.
awwwww.... Ahjumma is in love with Lee Jong Hyuk. Cant stop listening to him singing. His voice his voice...
Na Sarang'e
Sunday, April 26, 2009
What's Up Ahjumma?
Hey hey. It's been almost a month since I wrote anything. Was watching my Korean DVD halfway and suddenly felt like penning something here.
It's been almost 2 mths since I really spoke in office. All I did was come to office and work my butt off to clear all work that was given to me. Though it's kinda unhealthy, I really dont know what to say anymore. I am sick of office politics but I cant avoid. Cos it's inherent in the corporate world. I wont talk much on this, lest the old wounds open up again. I dont wanna start gossiping bad about 'these' people no more. They will get what they deserve. It's just a matter of time.
I've been trying hard to give myself less stress. The other time, work stress, shover stress and anger made me experienced sharp pain in my tummy and abdomen area. Even my menses goes haywire. I got to survive on ponstan and gastric pills every day. Thank god, I've been feeling much better now. Maybe abstaining from talking to shover, my physical and emotional health gets better.
Oh ya. I am now trying very hard to make amends for my old mistakes. I am glad that I am finally making some improvements. I am also kinda happy, spent some great time with family yesterday, at the movies - Jangan Tegur. Finished watching my Korean drama When It's at Night. Now watching Formidable Rivals.
Eh.. suddenly.. dont feel like penning anything else.
K. Bye..
It's been almost 2 mths since I really spoke in office. All I did was come to office and work my butt off to clear all work that was given to me. Though it's kinda unhealthy, I really dont know what to say anymore. I am sick of office politics but I cant avoid. Cos it's inherent in the corporate world. I wont talk much on this, lest the old wounds open up again. I dont wanna start gossiping bad about 'these' people no more. They will get what they deserve. It's just a matter of time.
I've been trying hard to give myself less stress. The other time, work stress, shover stress and anger made me experienced sharp pain in my tummy and abdomen area. Even my menses goes haywire. I got to survive on ponstan and gastric pills every day. Thank god, I've been feeling much better now. Maybe abstaining from talking to shover, my physical and emotional health gets better.
Oh ya. I am now trying very hard to make amends for my old mistakes. I am glad that I am finally making some improvements. I am also kinda happy, spent some great time with family yesterday, at the movies - Jangan Tegur. Finished watching my Korean drama When It's at Night. Now watching Formidable Rivals.
Eh.. suddenly.. dont feel like penning anything else.
K. Bye..
Saturday, March 28, 2009
60 Earth Hour 2009
I cant recall where I saw the ad about joining in earth hour on 28 March 2009 from 8.30pm to 9.30pm.
I suggested to my parents yesterday about doing our part by joining in the 60 min event. To my surprised, they were very onz. My mum may not really know what's the purpose of doing it. But to me, it's about instilling the habit and awareness that we should switch off appliances when not in used.
It was fun. Dad lighted one candle. Only one fan was allowed to be on. Fish tank light was on too cos the fish fears darkness. We went to the toilet just before 9.30pm. Then we all gathered in the hall, relax and chat.
Just into the first 5 minutes. Something big happened. Mum wanna go toilet for big business. She's scared of darkness. But to my surprised, no to our whole family's surprise, she went to the toilet with just one candle. She didnt even asked if she can switch on the toilet light. Mum, I'm really proud of you. Really do.
It was a fun and fruitful one hour for me. Though main purpose was to instil the thought of saving but we got more than what we wanted. We get to really talked, laughed and teased one another - 100% of attention given.
Maybe, just a thought, to suggest to my family to do this at least once a month. We get to really sit down and chat with no external disturbances like TV, PC, etc.
Let's hope I can get this done. =^.^=
I suggested to my parents yesterday about doing our part by joining in the 60 min event. To my surprised, they were very onz. My mum may not really know what's the purpose of doing it. But to me, it's about instilling the habit and awareness that we should switch off appliances when not in used.
It was fun. Dad lighted one candle. Only one fan was allowed to be on. Fish tank light was on too cos the fish fears darkness. We went to the toilet just before 9.30pm. Then we all gathered in the hall, relax and chat.
Just into the first 5 minutes. Something big happened. Mum wanna go toilet for big business. She's scared of darkness. But to my surprised, no to our whole family's surprise, she went to the toilet with just one candle. She didnt even asked if she can switch on the toilet light. Mum, I'm really proud of you. Really do.
It was a fun and fruitful one hour for me. Though main purpose was to instil the thought of saving but we got more than what we wanted. We get to really talked, laughed and teased one another - 100% of attention given.
Maybe, just a thought, to suggest to my family to do this at least once a month. We get to really sit down and chat with no external disturbances like TV, PC, etc.
Let's hope I can get this done. =^.^=
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Trip to Batam - Feb Mar 2009
Went to Batam for a quiet retreat with parents.
Stayed in Novotel Batam for 4 nights. Yeah 4 nights. It's quiet there, nothing much to do cos it's not my first time. But I love retreats. It's quiet, peaceful. No work no problems no worries.
Parents shared a room while me, have the whole room to myself. At home, I sleep on the the second deck of a double decker. Here, I have a KING size bed all to myself. hoohoo.
Let's check out the sea view room. Not ex ah. I have member and 2 night free stay. So worked out to be S$44 per night. *wink*
View from balcony.
You can choose to relax at the hotel's lobby (ground floor) or outside your room. Yeah, there's a place for you to relax or get-together if you go out with a groupie of friends.
There's a shuttle bus from hotel to Batam Centre, it's about half an hour ride. Nearby, Nagoya Hill SC. If you do not wanna go anywhere, there's in-house gym, pool, restaurant to settle your meals or room service. There's also spa service within the hotel. Not for everyone though. It's how you find joy in a quiet place.
Stayed in Novotel Batam for 4 nights. Yeah 4 nights. It's quiet there, nothing much to do cos it's not my first time. But I love retreats. It's quiet, peaceful. No work no problems no worries.
Parents shared a room while me, have the whole room to myself. At home, I sleep on the the second deck of a double decker. Here, I have a KING size bed all to myself. hoohoo.
Let's check out the sea view room. Not ex ah. I have member and 2 night free stay. So worked out to be S$44 per night. *wink*
View from balcony.
You can choose to relax at the hotel's lobby (ground floor) or outside your room. Yeah, there's a place for you to relax or get-together if you go out with a groupie of friends.
There's a shuttle bus from hotel to Batam Centre, it's about half an hour ride. Nearby, Nagoya Hill SC. If you do not wanna go anywhere, there's in-house gym, pool, restaurant to settle your meals or room service. There's also spa service within the hotel. Not for everyone though. It's how you find joy in a quiet place.
Belated Feb 09 Post - Mum's Birthday
I was kinda busy with work and all that I couldnt find time to upload my mum's birthday pics. Am reserving a slot here for her birthday pics. Will upload more of her pics soon.
Glad you are smiling and laughing mum. Love ya.
Belated Jan 09 Post - Singapore Flyer
My first time there. Not to see flyer lah. But for Popeye. Sad to say, I prefer KFC. *wink - finger licking good*
Belated Dec 08 Post - Ritz Carlton
Compare the day & night view from Ritz.
View of Room
Friends I went with:
View of Room
Friends I went with:
Part 2: MSN Nick - rozi BLOODY PISSED!!! blood pressure TO D MAX!!!
Thursday went back to office. Tired after dad's surgery. He is all okay now. Thanks for caring.
Was clearing my email, something got me fuming mad again. Let me ask a question. If there is an intent to reduce the service standard for your work area, would you look at statistics and asked officers for inputs if the reduction is reasonable or feasible?
My area, I provided stats to shover, asked for officers input before I recommend that it is feasible to reduce the service standard.
But when I saw that email on another work area, no stats was provided, no input from officers gathered. No approval obtained. A supervisor has the power to make a decision as such on your own?
Based on current stats and volume, existing officers already find it hard to meet the standard. Not taking all these into consideration, standard is further reduced. What is this?!!
Though I do not look up to shover, I still have to give some respect to the title. But a supervisor under shover makes such decision, shover makes no effort to ask or enquire on such individual decision made, which affects so many officers?
I do not understand how this place works. I also do not understand why affected officers are fearful to stand up to voice out their opinions. But chose to suffer in silence. If that is their stand, who can help them. They are giving out a signal that they can cope. So, no one would be in a better position to voice out for them.
Let us hope this work area stays fine. Otherwise, R.I.P.
Was clearing my email, something got me fuming mad again. Let me ask a question. If there is an intent to reduce the service standard for your work area, would you look at statistics and asked officers for inputs if the reduction is reasonable or feasible?
My area, I provided stats to shover, asked for officers input before I recommend that it is feasible to reduce the service standard.
But when I saw that email on another work area, no stats was provided, no input from officers gathered. No approval obtained. A supervisor has the power to make a decision as such on your own?
Based on current stats and volume, existing officers already find it hard to meet the standard. Not taking all these into consideration, standard is further reduced. What is this?!!
Though I do not look up to shover, I still have to give some respect to the title. But a supervisor under shover makes such decision, shover makes no effort to ask or enquire on such individual decision made, which affects so many officers?
I do not understand how this place works. I also do not understand why affected officers are fearful to stand up to voice out their opinions. But chose to suffer in silence. If that is their stand, who can help them. They are giving out a signal that they can cope. So, no one would be in a better position to voice out for them.
Let us hope this work area stays fine. Otherwise, R.I.P.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
MSN Nick - rozi BLOODY PISSED!!! blood pressure TO D MAX!!!
I have never liked writing office stuffs on my blog. But this time round, its burning off my patience. No! I have no patience left. This is the MAX!
How should I start... okay, let me give a background of how the place works. Ppl draw lines, lines everywhere. Taiji here and there. But like everywhere else, trying to show bigger ppl that they work as a team. Having great, no superb teamwork. Guess that's how every place works. Fine, lets stay that way.
Before I went on my leave, let me recall, 28 Feb to 4 Mar. A case was created on 23 Feb. I wasnt in the loop until 26 Feb 7pm, I was shoved this case to handle there and then. Why, cos the standard is to reply by 27 Feb. I stayed back that day cos it was the last day to approve cases before month end. I told shover that I handle it the next day, as I need to rush the cases before the system is down. System shutting down in less than an hour. Guess what shover replied: No. Draft the reply for me now. Fine, your title is bigger. But with no head nor tail, how do I draft the reply. Hence called the complainant, but I was slapped. Why? Good question. The complainant said: "Someone already called me and send me an email. Why are you calling me?" Okay, nvm. I grumble but I still have lotsa patience left to let it pass. Before I went on leave, I asked one to help me monitor. No one did. I have to continue handling it after my leave. Okay, I continue. Complainant replied on 10 Mar. I wasnt kept in the loop again, until 16 Mar when I asked for status. I asked shover, I didnt create the lapse, can get the one to handle. Shover said: No. Pls work with one on this case. Okay, I see no point, so I did everything in order to close case. Let's take this as Case A.
Okay that's one case. We take a breather. Can you tell me where is the teamwork here. Can you tell me who cares about the case. No one. Why? Cos case is tagged under my name. That is why!
Next, I have another complainant, nothing case specific, it comes under another owner but shover asked me to handle. We'll name this as Case B. Fine, I take it on. Similarly, I sent shover draft reply for review in the evening. All others in the cc list received. Shover claimed non receipt. Blame NOTES. Delayed one day. Realised not enough time, shover stand beside me, I gotta type and wait while shover thinks how to amend my draft. It took almost 2 hours. Why cant shover amend at his workstation, while I can spend the time clearing my daily operational work instead of becoming a typist. Nvm, patient patient. Okay, finalised. Shover say: "You going back now, no rite. So wait before you go home then send email." What kind of person is it. I dont have a home to go to? I dont have my own life to lead? Since this case, I have no time to go toilet, nor eat breakfast nor lunch. I sat down at my place from morn till night. Why? Cos I know shover style. I have to clear my operational work whenever time permits. In case suddenly shover wants to go through it together which often takes at least, minimum 1.5-2 hours. Shover goes home thereafter. I need to spend time at home. So, I bring tons of cases home to check. Take cab home lah, if not how to save more time for work and sleep. Slept only 3hours at night. I am super duper tired. Who cares, no one. Who understand, no one. Okay, its my work. Fine. I dont grumble. I continue clearing.
Finally, case closed. Asked to review or improve the system. This is not under me. Hence I told shover to get the owner to take charge and lead. I dont mind sitting in meetings to provide inputs etc. But shover sent email to bigger titles, asking me to do. I was super angry. Not that I dont want to do it. I dont have time and hands to do it. My work is piling, affecting my team's standard. If I do it, who is going to help me. Instead of blowing my top in office, I left and cool down. My heart only managed to ease when I see my family and rabbits. Next morning, which is today. Shover sent email to owner to schedule meeting and handle it. I will sit in meetings to provide inputs. OK. I ease a little.
Sent reply on Case A to shover for review in the morning before 1030am today. Shover waited till 5.45pm then asked me abt it. My dad having a day surgery wee early the next morning. He knows. He dont care, fine, I dont expect shover to. But at least dont do that to ppl at end of day. Shover has so much time on hand to go out for a 2 hour lunch with lady dowager, why cant go through the case earlier. Then shover asked: "This case has to go through all the big titles?". I told shover yes, and I informed before, few times. Shover say, better dont have 2 case under me. Asked one to handle Case A instead. If you recall, I did asked shover to get one to handle Case A. But was denied. Now asking, I used to the word asking one if one okay to do it. Fxxx!!! Did shover ever "asked" if I okay to handle IT.
Best thing is here, which way totally burn out my patience. Shover said, if I get one to handle Case A, can you help to improve system for Case B. Let's have some teamwork here. "TEAMWORK! TEAMWORK!" I told him, face to face, once again, I dont mind sitting in meetings, helping and giving inputs. But, owner should take charge, not me. TEAMWORK! This word dont exist in this place and shover used this word to add pressure on me. Go asked my ex colleagues. Have I ever deny ppl help. Even if it goes beyond my line of duty, if I can, I will help. But when I need help, my ex colleagues help out too. But here, will anyone help me? Will the owner help me clear the cases on my desk that is piling up day by day? I can give you the answer - NO!!!
Shover will only do this to me. Cos one is lady dowager. The other, fearful. So, I am easy to bully lah. I am also angry cos shover said I am being emotional when it comes to appraising staff.
Talking about ppl. You employ someone. Not everyone is the same. Instead of guiding and monitoring, you condemn the person. Is it fair? To me, I always give someone chance to prove before you decide its a job mismatch. Isnt this work place supposed to groom a person. Not here. I see the person being condemned. Mistakes noted down. Shouldnt good things be noted too. No, it wasnt. I thought when someone do something good, you pat the person at the back to encourage them. But it was not even looked at cos to them, its expected. You expect ppl to improve or perform under such situation? I am truly disappointed. But I hang on. I told the person, I'll help at my own time and effort. So that we both can see if it is truly a job mismatch. But, lets work hard in being uptodate now.
I can only conclude. I am a mismatch to my company. I cant work in a place with no EQ. I cant work under title who shove things to me juz cos shover wont be able to shoved it to anyone else. You draw lines everywhere, but when you want me to do things, you use the word teamwork. Do you even know whats the meaning of teamwork. Dont use this word when you dont know its meaning. You are putting the word to shame!
I shouldnt do what I did today. I slammed the door damn loud. But, I truly couldnt stand it no more. Tell once nicely, ignored. Tell second time to bring across the rationale, rejected. I have no more patience. You couldnt imagine my anger. It started from the conversation with shover at 545pm till I reach home. Even in feeder bus, I almost wanted to scream out. Of cos I didnt lah. In case I kena report to IMH or appear in youtube like that hongkee lady who was late for her flight. LOL
Things that we do in life, we should not regret. Cos life is learnt backwards. We learn and improve after mistakes over mistakes. The one thing I regret most, is to accept the proposal to transfer. I should have packed and left in May 2007.
Special Bulletin:
It seems that when big title is on leave, shover and lady dowager will go out for lunch together. On 12th, payday, went out 2 hours lunch. Today, my fren saw them, one at 12pm, the other 12.10pm. Often separately to avoid suspicion. 2 hours lunch today too. And I saw them leaving office together. One after another. About a metre apart.
Frankly lah. There is no big deal in having a relationship in office. Just as long you know how to be fair and objective. Know how to separate personal feelings from work. Ppl will still respect you. But.. tsk tsk.. sad to say, you arent look up to. You want to demand respect, you gotta respect ppl and yourself first. Anyway, its your life. I have no say. But, I have a choice, whether to suffer under you or choose not to.
I want to clarify this okay. I am not a quitter. Though I dont have the ambition to climb the corporate ladder and dont have the glib nor talent to mingle with higher titles, that doesnt make me a loser nor a lousy human. I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be able to take over the financial rein of my family from my dad. I am proud to be able to help my team and staff whenever they need help. I do not know how to smoke nor cover things up. I have a clear conscience. And I am who I am.
How should I start... okay, let me give a background of how the place works. Ppl draw lines, lines everywhere. Taiji here and there. But like everywhere else, trying to show bigger ppl that they work as a team. Having great, no superb teamwork. Guess that's how every place works. Fine, lets stay that way.
Before I went on my leave, let me recall, 28 Feb to 4 Mar. A case was created on 23 Feb. I wasnt in the loop until 26 Feb 7pm, I was shoved this case to handle there and then. Why, cos the standard is to reply by 27 Feb. I stayed back that day cos it was the last day to approve cases before month end. I told shover that I handle it the next day, as I need to rush the cases before the system is down. System shutting down in less than an hour. Guess what shover replied: No. Draft the reply for me now. Fine, your title is bigger. But with no head nor tail, how do I draft the reply. Hence called the complainant, but I was slapped. Why? Good question. The complainant said: "Someone already called me and send me an email. Why are you calling me?" Okay, nvm. I grumble but I still have lotsa patience left to let it pass. Before I went on leave, I asked one to help me monitor. No one did. I have to continue handling it after my leave. Okay, I continue. Complainant replied on 10 Mar. I wasnt kept in the loop again, until 16 Mar when I asked for status. I asked shover, I didnt create the lapse, can get the one to handle. Shover said: No. Pls work with one on this case. Okay, I see no point, so I did everything in order to close case. Let's take this as Case A.
Okay that's one case. We take a breather. Can you tell me where is the teamwork here. Can you tell me who cares about the case. No one. Why? Cos case is tagged under my name. That is why!
Next, I have another complainant, nothing case specific, it comes under another owner but shover asked me to handle. We'll name this as Case B. Fine, I take it on. Similarly, I sent shover draft reply for review in the evening. All others in the cc list received. Shover claimed non receipt. Blame NOTES. Delayed one day. Realised not enough time, shover stand beside me, I gotta type and wait while shover thinks how to amend my draft. It took almost 2 hours. Why cant shover amend at his workstation, while I can spend the time clearing my daily operational work instead of becoming a typist. Nvm, patient patient. Okay, finalised. Shover say: "You going back now, no rite. So wait before you go home then send email." What kind of person is it. I dont have a home to go to? I dont have my own life to lead? Since this case, I have no time to go toilet, nor eat breakfast nor lunch. I sat down at my place from morn till night. Why? Cos I know shover style. I have to clear my operational work whenever time permits. In case suddenly shover wants to go through it together which often takes at least, minimum 1.5-2 hours. Shover goes home thereafter. I need to spend time at home. So, I bring tons of cases home to check. Take cab home lah, if not how to save more time for work and sleep. Slept only 3hours at night. I am super duper tired. Who cares, no one. Who understand, no one. Okay, its my work. Fine. I dont grumble. I continue clearing.
Finally, case closed. Asked to review or improve the system. This is not under me. Hence I told shover to get the owner to take charge and lead. I dont mind sitting in meetings to provide inputs etc. But shover sent email to bigger titles, asking me to do. I was super angry. Not that I dont want to do it. I dont have time and hands to do it. My work is piling, affecting my team's standard. If I do it, who is going to help me. Instead of blowing my top in office, I left and cool down. My heart only managed to ease when I see my family and rabbits. Next morning, which is today. Shover sent email to owner to schedule meeting and handle it. I will sit in meetings to provide inputs. OK. I ease a little.
Sent reply on Case A to shover for review in the morning before 1030am today. Shover waited till 5.45pm then asked me abt it. My dad having a day surgery wee early the next morning. He knows. He dont care, fine, I dont expect shover to. But at least dont do that to ppl at end of day. Shover has so much time on hand to go out for a 2 hour lunch with lady dowager, why cant go through the case earlier. Then shover asked: "This case has to go through all the big titles?". I told shover yes, and I informed before, few times. Shover say, better dont have 2 case under me. Asked one to handle Case A instead. If you recall, I did asked shover to get one to handle Case A. But was denied. Now asking, I used to the word asking one if one okay to do it. Fxxx!!! Did shover ever "asked" if I okay to handle IT.
Best thing is here, which way totally burn out my patience. Shover said, if I get one to handle Case A, can you help to improve system for Case B. Let's have some teamwork here. "TEAMWORK! TEAMWORK!" I told him, face to face, once again, I dont mind sitting in meetings, helping and giving inputs. But, owner should take charge, not me. TEAMWORK! This word dont exist in this place and shover used this word to add pressure on me. Go asked my ex colleagues. Have I ever deny ppl help. Even if it goes beyond my line of duty, if I can, I will help. But when I need help, my ex colleagues help out too. But here, will anyone help me? Will the owner help me clear the cases on my desk that is piling up day by day? I can give you the answer - NO!!!
Shover will only do this to me. Cos one is lady dowager. The other, fearful. So, I am easy to bully lah. I am also angry cos shover said I am being emotional when it comes to appraising staff.
Talking about ppl. You employ someone. Not everyone is the same. Instead of guiding and monitoring, you condemn the person. Is it fair? To me, I always give someone chance to prove before you decide its a job mismatch. Isnt this work place supposed to groom a person. Not here. I see the person being condemned. Mistakes noted down. Shouldnt good things be noted too. No, it wasnt. I thought when someone do something good, you pat the person at the back to encourage them. But it was not even looked at cos to them, its expected. You expect ppl to improve or perform under such situation? I am truly disappointed. But I hang on. I told the person, I'll help at my own time and effort. So that we both can see if it is truly a job mismatch. But, lets work hard in being uptodate now.
I can only conclude. I am a mismatch to my company. I cant work in a place with no EQ. I cant work under title who shove things to me juz cos shover wont be able to shoved it to anyone else. You draw lines everywhere, but when you want me to do things, you use the word teamwork. Do you even know whats the meaning of teamwork. Dont use this word when you dont know its meaning. You are putting the word to shame!
I shouldnt do what I did today. I slammed the door damn loud. But, I truly couldnt stand it no more. Tell once nicely, ignored. Tell second time to bring across the rationale, rejected. I have no more patience. You couldnt imagine my anger. It started from the conversation with shover at 545pm till I reach home. Even in feeder bus, I almost wanted to scream out. Of cos I didnt lah. In case I kena report to IMH or appear in youtube like that hongkee lady who was late for her flight. LOL
Things that we do in life, we should not regret. Cos life is learnt backwards. We learn and improve after mistakes over mistakes. The one thing I regret most, is to accept the proposal to transfer. I should have packed and left in May 2007.
Special Bulletin:
It seems that when big title is on leave, shover and lady dowager will go out for lunch together. On 12th, payday, went out 2 hours lunch. Today, my fren saw them, one at 12pm, the other 12.10pm. Often separately to avoid suspicion. 2 hours lunch today too. And I saw them leaving office together. One after another. About a metre apart.
Frankly lah. There is no big deal in having a relationship in office. Just as long you know how to be fair and objective. Know how to separate personal feelings from work. Ppl will still respect you. But.. tsk tsk.. sad to say, you arent look up to. You want to demand respect, you gotta respect ppl and yourself first. Anyway, its your life. I have no say. But, I have a choice, whether to suffer under you or choose not to.
I want to clarify this okay. I am not a quitter. Though I dont have the ambition to climb the corporate ladder and dont have the glib nor talent to mingle with higher titles, that doesnt make me a loser nor a lousy human. I am proud of who I am. I am proud to be able to take over the financial rein of my family from my dad. I am proud to be able to help my team and staff whenever they need help. I do not know how to smoke nor cover things up. I have a clear conscience. And I am who I am.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Korean Music Videos
Finally, forced myself to update my blog.
Removed some old stuffs that had to be erased. Added 6 new MVs on my blog.
Yeah, all korean. Been a fanatic all the while but recently followed the weekly telecast of KBS Music Bank faithfully.
All these songs are either hit songs in Korea, songs that hit my heart or simply a band that I like.. example Big Bang.
Enjoy. If you dont, too bad lah.
Stay cool. Peace.
Removed some old stuffs that had to be erased. Added 6 new MVs on my blog.
Yeah, all korean. Been a fanatic all the while but recently followed the weekly telecast of KBS Music Bank faithfully.
All these songs are either hit songs in Korea, songs that hit my heart or simply a band that I like.. example Big Bang.
Enjoy. If you dont, too bad lah.
Stay cool. Peace.
Monday, February 9, 2009
My 1st Post in 2009
Havent been putting up any posts cos I didnt have anything particularly happy or sad to talk about.
Life's been not too bad since my last post. Lately, I've been feeling kinda stress.
I've been through worse. Maybe going through bad stuffs too many times, you tend to feel sick of it. It's like how many of such stuffs do I need to go through over n over again. This time round, I scared I may just give up.
When I am still at it, I'll try my best to help. Hope they realise my good intentions, improve & excel.
I cant wait till I am better, to be able to change my life and take on something that I am interested in. Hopefully by then, I'll be able to know what I truly want.
Life's been not too bad since my last post. Lately, I've been feeling kinda stress.
I've been through worse. Maybe going through bad stuffs too many times, you tend to feel sick of it. It's like how many of such stuffs do I need to go through over n over again. This time round, I scared I may just give up.
When I am still at it, I'll try my best to help. Hope they realise my good intentions, improve & excel.
I cant wait till I am better, to be able to change my life and take on something that I am interested in. Hopefully by then, I'll be able to know what I truly want.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
